Every person or every group of friends has that one friend that is the “third wheel”. Or maybe I don’t want to use that terminology. Let’s say that one friend who is always single. That one friend who is always asked “why are you single?” That’s me….I’m that friend. I can never really answer the question. I have sat & watched some of my friends go from relationship to relationship. They might not be healthy relationships, but they’re in them. Which in return means that someone wanted or cared about them enough to want to be with him. They took the plunge and wanted to be with them (at least in the beginning). I am about to be 21 years old and I can honestly say I’ve never been in a real relationship. I’ve been in plenty of “situationships” but never a relationship. I think about this everyday. Like nobody ever though I was worth it to just wanna be with me. That is my truth. I definitely blame it on the fact that it’s very hard for me to trust, I’m too picky, I lose interest too fast etc. But I honestly just don’t know as well. I mean I very rarely find myself wanting to really be with someone. But when I do I give my all. I do the corny stuff that most people don’t do. I’ll be the one to write a love letter, I’ll be the one that packs you lunch and puts a little love note in there, the one who rubs your back when you’re having a bad day, and a lot more.
That being said I definitely have my flaws. But the point is ..I’m worth it, and though I truly believe it I start to doubt it sometimes because it seems no one else does. You can say something and believe it as much as you want but there is nobody to back it up…Who’s going to believe it? I wish I could do the things I mentioned above for someone I love, but it just seems as if I’m impossible to love because I have never been appreciated. I watch my friends in these relationships and I give advice all the time…wishing that I even had someone. I always say Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. But how can I possible say that when I’ve never really experienced it? I feel like a loser. I’ve seen what my friend’s mates have done for them, and what they do for their significant ones, and I wish I could experience it. I wish I could act how romantic I really am. Instead of me feeling like a hopeless romantic I just feel…well hopeless.
Now I’m in a situation where all I want to be with is one person. One person who isn’t even speaking to me…As much I have attempted to talk to others. None of them are her. None of them…
Signed of by a true hopeless ro…
..just hopeless
Entries of a Hopeless Romantic 