Empty

I don’t care how mad someone I love has ever made me. I have never hit below the belt. I’ve always told the truth which can be harsh but I have always made sure I never hit below the belt. At least I think that’s what I’ve done. I mean we argued Tuesday and I could have said so many things, but I didn’t. I know that I could have hit below the belt, say things that I’ve observed that she doesn’t think I have…etc. But I didn’t…and do you know why that is? because I truly love her. Even after all the things she said to me, even after she hit way below the belt, even though I know that a lot of the things she said weren’t even true. I still didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to say things that would hurt her. I sure can’t say the same for her. She said horrendous things which just proved her lack of care for me.

Usually I would definitely be all day everyday about this, but I haven’t. I feel like I’ve grown ya know…. because I don’t want to waste my tears on someone who never cared about me. Someone who doesn’t even care enough about me to tell me the truth. I’m not saying I’m not hurt. I just…I don’t know I don’t cry that much. I feel hurt. I also feel angry, but I also feel like I don’t even have the energy to really go there emotionally. I can’t go the distance…I just feel empty right now. I’ve been hurt so much that I’m all out. Tank is on E. I’m done…and I’m not exactly saying that’s a good thing either.