It’s been months. I would’ve thought the sadness that I felt would’ve at least faded, but it hasn’t. I’ve never felt an emotional sadness such as this.
The craziest part of all is that there have been others. Others I was physically attracted, others that I’ve tried to get to know, tried to talk to…but nobody is you.
The love I have for you simply can’t be replaced even though I’ve tried my hardest to replace it. The hardest part is that the thought of you with someone else hurts me. It’s more powerful than any hurt I’ve ever felt before because….you’re YOU. You’re not a crush, or someone I like, you’re my soulmate, my heart & soul are connected to you and even if I tried to deny it I couldn’t.
I’m being as unselfish as I can be. I tried to reach out & I was ignored & that hurts me more than you know. I guess you don’t understand how much you’ve hurt me & maybe you never will.
But imagine this… I’ve been abandoned my entire life by people who were supposed to care about me. At least that’s how I felt. I know you didn’t mean to make me feel this way but the fact is I do. You aren’t just gone. You are gone & spending your life with someone else, and you put me out of your life a long with that. That’s how I feel about it.
I kept thinking there was so much I could’ve done differently, but it was inevitable….that I fell for you. Your soul, your beauty, your aura, your smile, your laugh.
Everyday I have memories of you, memories that make me smile in my time of sadness. Memories that remind me that you’ll be the only one who will ever truly have my heart.
My soul is in limbo right now because you’re gone & all I can do is hope that you’ll find your way back to me.
You must be happy with who you’re with & all I can do is wish you the best no matter how much I’m hurting. All I ever wish for is your happiness.
People who love each other sometimes hurt each other but none of that ever overpowers the love I have for you.
You’re an amazing woman. We’re both still growing, still learning, still making mistakes …but one day we’ll be doing it together.
Nothing that’s worth it comes easy.
If you’re reading this…
I love you CBN. I miss you so much baby girl.