I miss her face. It pains me to walk through this stupid mall & I can’t see her face anymore. I can’t see her smile. I miss her so much. This is my worst nightmare & I hate the person who caused this. Because every time I walk through here I cry. I can’t possibly avoid this mall. I work here. But….. She’s gone & I can feel it every time I’m in here. I never thought I could love someone this much. But I do…. I always will. No matter what disagreement we’ve had my love for her has never wavered. It’s eternal… It’s unconditional. I can look into those eyes and tell that she’s the one.
The fact that I haven’t seen her is ripping me to shreds. I’m a strong person. My mother raised me to be. But I miss her….My heart misses her, my soul misses her. I love her with all my heart..
I refer to her as that now. Because we’ll she’s a light. I could be sad, and all she’d have to do is smile & I would smile too.
I have to deal with her being with someone else. Hey she could possibly be in love with all that I’ve heard. And now I have to deal not being able to see her.
On top of that…. It’s worrying me. This relationship she’s in. Their relationship has way too much drama for them to be starting out. The woman isn’t even 100% in it. Shes working at a place where her boss, got my love fired. Like…. That’s problematic as hell. I’m worried that she will get hurt again smh…. There’s so much I could say but I don’t even wanna go into it.
I’m honestly just hurt that this is what she chooses over me. Like…. Really ???? How does she not know that nothing she has with anyone will compare to what we have? I guess the age thing is bothering me because. She probably thinks I’m some kid or something. Like just because I don’t have a car or place of my own doesn’t mean I can’t love you like you wanna be loved. I’m getting my life together. It will sure as hell not be like this forever. There’s nobody on this earth that’s gonna love like I do. Nobody…
There’s so much going through my mind right now. So I apologize for this being so unfocused. But I have to vent somehow.
My protector, my confidant, my love, my sunshine, my baby, my soul mate, my twin flame, my life partner, my nuisance,my heart,…. No matter what we will go through..wont change the fact that she’s mine, doesn’t change the fact that I still love her, that I Â need her.
It pains me to say that I can’t see her face before I go to school, pains me to see her doing so much for someone who may care about her, but who can’t love her like I do and always have. Pains me to walk through these stupid mall halls and know that she’s staying with her, she’s seeing her every day, and I won’t know the next time I might see her. Pains me to walk through this mall and see a black evil leprechaun that I cannot stand.
But most of all it pains me to not even really be apart of her life right now. Part of me keeps the distance because I don’t want to be an interference. She may not get this but……anybody could tell that we have a deep connection. It would just complicate things more, and regardless ifIm gonna be with her it’s no way I’m sharing. That’s dead as fuck. I’m no side piece. If you’re with me. I’m the only one you’re gonna be with. And you had better be ready because. I’m in it for the long haul. She’s the only person….she is the only one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to date. I can talk to people. But it will only go to a certain point.
Guess that’s the difference between me & her.