I Am Human

I am a strong woman

A strong Black woman

But I am not invincible

People make think I am because I am so strong

But I am not

I am sensitive

I am human

I need help sometimes

I cry myself to sleep sometimes

I am not invincible

Just the other day it all became too much

I was in the house alone

I was terrified

For the first time in my life…

I didn’t have control

I panicked

I literally had a panic attack

It was the scariest moment of my life so far

The walls were closing in

I could not breathe

I felt the oxygen escaping my brain

I could not move my body

I could could not stand

I was rushed to the hospital

I felt so alone

I wish I had someone who truly understood me

I am strong

But I am not invincible

I needed help then

I need support now

I am not invincible

Please help

Underwater

When I think about depression I think of drowning.

Drowning in a sea of worries

It’s like when you lay down in a bath tub until you can’t breathe anymore.

Now I’m not suicidal, but I’m struggling to keep my head above water.

Recently my asthma has been bothering me. Something it happening to my body & I don’t know what. To me it just seems like…when I get sad…things start happening, things that I cannot control.

I’m all alone. I still feel like the girl in high school who walked the halls by herself. I feel like thay one kid who never gets picked in gym class.

When will this feeling stop?

Why am I always drowning?

No one sees it.

No one notices.

I’m drowning

I’m drowning

There’s only so much one woman can take.

Until…

Eventually…

There will be no more me. I won’t be taken for granted by the people in my life. I won’t be thrown away.

I’ll just be gone.

Gone, forever..